The Science Of Adults

The Science Of Adults (By George Beard and Harold Hutchins
______________________________________________________________________

Problem: We have a mean principal named Mr. Krupp.
Solution: We hypnotized him with a 3-D Hypno-Ring.


I just pretended to be like George and Harold. They are from my favorite book, Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey (Scholastic, 2002). I always hate adults. Their totally bonkers, diffrent from grownups.


The Science of Adults Is a Trademark of Transportation Books Inc. Copyright 2007 by Andrew Zhao. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication is reproduced in whole or part, or stored in a retrival system, or transmitted in any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the writer. For information reguarding permission, please write to:

Andrew Zhao
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San Diego California 92130

Car Island Learns Magic

It was a very sunny day in Car Island. Ricky did lots of magic. He thought it was fun, so he showed his parents, just to show off. The next day, Ricky shouted a magic word and made his jam sandwich 6 inches high into the air. "Whoa, Ricky." said my brother Albert. "You are a very talented magician!" Andy told me ''Frank, I didn't know that Ricky could make tons of magic." "Yeah." I whispered back. "Ricky sure loves to make magic!" Then I asked Ricky "Ricky, could you show us your magic tricks?" "Of course I can!" said Ricky. He showed us during recess. He teached us once in the morning and twice in the afternoon. Everyone had to pay $1.00. Then he made his own magic show TV commercials, opened up a magic store, and made a TV commercial on his magic store, and was the winner for the school talent show!

Fred's Big Mistake

Fred had just had his lesson of how to do cool tricks. He showed it to me, Frank and Andy and the rest of the cars over at the butte. "And my favorite tricks are "The Psycho Skid" and "The Mega Bash". Fred started his engine and zoomed off. There were rocky cliffs. So Fred braked hard, causing him to skid on the dirt. When the dust cleared, Fred was rusty and his tires were dirty. Soon, he showed us the Mega Bash. He sped off and hit a dirt pile with his bumper. Then his bumper was rusty. Soon, he showed us more tricks. Then, he raced off.. He started to do tricks, like the Multi Zoom and the Ultra Swerve. Then, there was trouble. Giant rocks came off the mountains and blocked Fred's way. Fred bashed hard. The next thing he realized was he would be sent to a steep ledge straight to a pile of giant rocks that would not collapse from bashing if he went to fast. His Mega Bash didn't cause the rocks to move out of the way. "Aw, man!" he cried. "I better get back to the butte entrance! He drove backward, made a wild turn, and sped straight back to the local butte entrance. "Gee, I guess you need to learn how to be safer." said Andy. "Right, Frank?" "Yes" I replied. Then I sprayed Rusty Bumper Shiner medicated bumper ointment on Fred. Then Andy took Fred to the car wash for polishing. Then Fred never made mistakes again.

A New Town Is Born

Car Island wasn't always a place where everyone would get together and play. Long ago, it was old and run-down. The interstate wasn't built and no shops were anywhere. And the big city was just Model T's driving on a bumpy road. Well, not a lot of Model T's, that is. Well, the towns attorney, Stanley, wanted the town with a smooth road, lots of shops, and a lot of cars. Soon, everyone arrived with a huge road-paving machine and fixed the road the way Stanley wanted it. Then, workers arrived and built plenty of shops, a junkyard, lots of houses and communities. They also built shopping centers, and restaurants. Soon, they built the prettiest cars they could make. They put the in the Alive-a-Tron 2000. All the cars came to life. There were soon mountains in the distance and soon lots of schools were built. Then girls could go to school and Car Island grew to be a huge city were everyone knew each other.

The Beautiful Day

It was a sunny day in the town of Car Island. I, Frank decited to call my best friend, Andy. We called some more friends. Fred and his brothers, Lena and her brother Dav, Aron Marcini, Stephanie, Melvin , and George and Harold. George and Harold were two troublesome kids, but now they stopped. We also called Arthur. Arthur loved to eat junk food and drink unhealthy drinks, but he was all healthy again. We all took a drive in our dune buggy's. Soon we arrived at an old motel called the ''Wheel Well". It opened up in the 1860s and was still in progress. We stopped for a view of Car Island, wondering what the town looked like in the present. it didn't look old and rundown in the early years, but we thought "Hmm, the town probably had a bumpy section of road. It was probably old in the 1800s before the interstate and the shops were built." Well, we were right. I looked in the scrapbook and saw how old Dad's school had been. Mom didn't go to school in the present, but she taught herself. The next day me and my friends took another drive. Soon we cooled off at Car Creek. We thought about Car Island, read a World Car comic, and took the short way home. It had been a good day--- a peacful day--- a beautiful day.

Friday Memo (2)

On Monday, the school was completely empty. On Tuesday, everybody had to play an upbeat jazz tune for the band recital. One time I blew my trumpet too late.. And Albert, my brother forgot to play his electric piano. And George Weasly's tuba sounded like it was about to explode. Finally, the rest of the days (Tuesday-Friday) continued with lots of fun. Ms. Derkman made us "Principals For The Rest Of The School Year". And if you ask "What do you mean us?" I say "I mean, Frank and Andy." So it was all thanks to me and Andy. We were the really useful cars. And if you think this Friday Memo will go on and on and on, the answer is "yes''. And it will start in the rest of the school years.

Friday Fun Memo

Hi. My name is Frank. I am in 1st grade at Car Island Elementary School. Today an announcement came over the loudspeakers:
Attention teachers and students,
Attention teachers and students,
This is Ms.Glennsworth , the school secretary and I have some exciting news:
The "Friday Fun Memo" is coming to school next week and I want someone to come to
the school office and type the Friday Fun Memo and print it so that I can send to all of the student's houses.
Everybody was excited. The school principal, Mr.Smith, allowed me and my friend, Andy to type the Friday Memo. We typed it all correct:
Monday: School Canceled
No school. Everyone can take a break.
Tuesday:Band Recital
Recital starts @ 6:30-7:00. Parents may come.
Wednesday: Car's Diner Night
Everybody can have a good meal at Car's Diner from 6:30-7:30.
Thursday: School Pictures For Yearbooks
Everybody needs to take a wash down for this day. Everybody needs to look their grandest or the yearbooks will be ruined. If anyone IS dirty for the school pictures, he or she recieves a one way ticket to the school office.
Friday: Healthy Food Day
Everybody needs to have a healthy food for snack. Lunch is served as organic Grade A low fat milk fuel, fresh fuel juices, fruit salad, or baloney sandwiches. Anyone caught eating junk food recieves a detention.

Fred's New Ad

Hi. My name is Frank. Today Fred Weasly, one of my best friends, started an ad called Ask Fred. When we get problems, we "email" him at fredweasly@askfred.com. On Monday, Fred got a question from me:
To:fredweasly@askfred.com
From:frankfargo@treehousecomix.org
Dear Fred,
My comic business is down to -70% and now me and Andy want to get it up to 100%. What should I do?
a.stop making comic books
b.make a lot of copies so everyone can read our comics
c.threaten to stop the ad

Fred answer was "b". On Tuesday Fred got another question from George:
To:fredbuckley@askfred.com
From:georgebuckley@pullingpranks.com
Dear Fred,
The school principal refuses us to pull pranks. What should me and Harold do?
a.tell you all about it and you can help me
b. be like a school brainiac (saying "I'm telling" or "That is so immature!")
c.just stop
d.any of the above
Fred's answer was "d". On Wednesday Fred got another question from Aron Marcini:
To:fredweasly@askfred.com
From:aroncunningham@whenhamstersattack.com
Dear Fred,
I love hamsters, but my pet hamster, Hammy is gone! What should I do?
a.make "lost hamster" signs all over town for a $3 reward
b.find him all over the house
c. If I can't find him in the house, get a new hamster
d. any of the above
Fred's answer was also "d". After Fred received all his questions, he got $1000000. Anna's "sopa'' became fresh again. Me and Andy could sell free comics again. Stephanie's clarinet was fixed. Hammy was found lurking in the toilet. George and Harold decided not to pull pranks anymore. And Melvin kept struggling on his 1st grade homework until he was a smart car. Fred's ad probably worked. Now he could use it on the go. Commercials of "Ask Fred" were here and there and everywhere. Now the entire Buckley family was rich.

Speed Meter From Book #35 (2)

Anna Dav
23 45
34 49
12 86
32 100
65 76
76 34
87 80
12 39
1 4
5 23
67 56
98 34
100 43
12 45
67 56
65 890
67 57
213 67
65 445
67 35
65 12
6.78 3
8 1/2 3/4
33 567

The Big Buggy Race (Once Again!)

Today me, Frank, who just turned 7, was talking to one of my best friends, and his name was Fred Weasely. We were talking about having another dune buggy race. Chattering stuff like "Remember what happened in our last book?" and "Our best friends were probably seeing us in the crowd." Fred said that whoever won 1st place would receive a gold Racing Cup, if 2nd silver, 3rd bronze, 4th turquoise, and 5th paper. And Andy decided that the cars whose dads were the worlds coolest race cars in all of Car Island history would win a World Car Comic and 3 gold Racing Cups. Me, Fred, and Melvin used our dune buggy's from the race, while everyone else had to built their own buggys. I asked my dad to build a Trophy Serve-O-Matic 2000 and a Comic Serve-O-Matic 2000. Dad was an inventor. The next day everyone went to my Grandpa Ed's house. I introduced Grandpa Ed to everybody and let everybody put their buggy parts in his Buggy-A-Tron 2000. Finally, the buggy's were all made and painted. Soon the race began. Fred's dad counted the speed. He looked at his speed meter and wrote the speed number on his clipboard. My dad was the announcer. Soon the race began. Our buggy's were going fast for the race or else we would not make it to the finish line on time.

Moving Day

Hi. My name is Frank. I am 5 years old. I didn't always live in #5, Car Colony. That was when I was at the age of 5 and 1/2, 6, 6 and 1/2, and 6 and 3/4. We used to live in in a tunnel entrance leading to a deep, warm and cozy cave in Car Country. It was very, very comfortable in the cave. One evening while we were eating dinner, Dad said: ''We are moving to #5 Car Colony in Car Island.'' I choked. "What did you just say?! I said in a raspy, choking voice. "We are moving to #5 Car Colony." said Dad. "Someone just called us this afternoon and said they were moving to this cave and wants us to move to their house. They live in #5 Car Colony." Now I had known what Dad meant. The next day was the big day to pack up. We packed from morning to afternoon and had packed half of the stuff in the house. Dad said Sunday was the Friday was the extremely special day because it was the day of moving. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday we packed up half of the stuff in our house just like Monday. It was summer vacation for graduating to kindergarten and leaving preschool left behind. On Friday, all the boxes were loaded into the moving van. We all went in the car, and followed the moving van, which was going smooth and steady, like the way the car was going. We had a happy life at the new house.
I met a friend my age next door and we became friends for the rest of of their lives.